3 tips to help put yourself first to feel more relaxed this season
Oh, the holidays. A time for good food, lights, decor, and quality time with family. Although perhaps you don’t share the same sentiment? When you think of the holidays, do you think more about hosting and needing to clean your home, the influx of social gatherings you feel committed to attend, and uncomfortable conversations with family members?
Perhaps it’s a little of both…
For that reason, I bestow upon you some tips to keep in mind this holiday season to lower those stress levels!
1. Speak up and say NO to more things.
Whether that be one more holiday party you don’t need to attend, or a request a family member has that is outside of your comfort zone.
A good “gut check” for this is to ask yourself- Do I really want to be doing this activity? If the answer is “no,” I challenge you to actually say no! It sounds easy, doesn’t it? Many people struggle though with saying no, and can get into the habit of “people pleasing,” especially during the holidays, which can cause undue stress.
A few ways to reframe these conversations would be to say something like:
“Thank you so much for the invite to the party, I actually have plans that evening.” (If asked, you can mention a date night with yourself, a gift wrapping night you’ve carved out time for, etc. Or you don’t actually owe that person an excuse at all if you don’t want to!)
If you’re being asked to host or make something that feels like too much you can say- “My plate is a bit full, but what I can do is (fill in the blank.)” This way you don’t even need to technically say no, instead, you offer a solution that works for you.
2. Find minutes (or seconds) of quiet time.
It can be overwhelming being around people 24/7 during the holidays. Take a beat when needed even if that means going to the bathroom or the pantry closet and just taking a few deep breaths and saying a positive mantra like- “I am calm.”
3. Let yourself indulge without guilt.
With the holidays can come over-eating or indulging on treats outside of our normal diets. Whether that be eggnog, pumpkin pie or extra mashed potatoes, let yourself enjoy these delicacies without guilt. What tends to happen is that we consume these food and beverages, stuff ourselves to the max, then have “eater’s remorse,” and then tell ourselves we’ll lose weight after the holidays and set these lofty goals we typically can’t follow through on; Meanwhile, in the whole process we are making ourselves feel bad with guilt and verbal abuse.
Instead, eat and drink what you like, and lean into the enjoyment of it. Perhaps you say to yourself something like- “this chocolate pie is so delicious and I am so grateful that I am able to have it this time of year.” The end. No butts about how you will make up for eating the pie…just let yourself enjoy it and be merry.
I realize that these tips may feel challenging, so at the very least use them as an awareness tool to check in on how you can let yourself feel more joy these holidays by doing things you actually want to, without guilt, and prioritizing yourself and your mental health.
I would love to hear which of these resonated with you, or if you need help reframing some of these thoughts or behaviors, feel free to reach out at georgia@dailydose-wellness.com .
Happy Holidays!
Georgia